From:
Pallav Kaushish
New Delhi, India
Sunday, 08.45 am

Dear Parent,

Have you ever met someone who walks into a room and owns it? 

The kind of person everyone is drawn to like moths to a flame. 

Whether they're cracking a joke or making a point, they command attention effortlessly, so much so that others lean in, eager to hear what they'll say next.

Whether it's a politician on stage, a rock star in front of a screaming crowd, or that magnetic leader we've all admired from afar, they share one common trait – Charisma.

And before you dismiss this as something only politicians or movie stars need, let me stop you right there. 

Charisma is NOT about being famous or flashy. It's about building connection, creating influence, and making people feel truly seen and understood.

Think about it – Charismatic people don't just talk – they move people. Their words seem to stick. Why? 

It's not just the content of what they say, it's how they say it. 

Their enthusiasm is infectious, their confidence is inspiring, and when they speak – they make you feel like they're speaking directly to you – even in a room full of people. 

But here's where it gets interesting. Many people think charisma is something you're born with.

What if I told you that's a myth?

Yup, Charisma is not inborn. It's a skill. And just like any other skill, it can be taught, practiced, and mastered.

Now, let's dig a little deeper into what it actually takes to build charisma – because it's not as mystical as it seems. In fact, it boils down to two things:

1. 1. The Art – understanding your audience, and

1. 1. The Science – understanding the rhetorical triangle

Let's break them down…

1. The Art – Understanding Your Audience

Let's talk about something most people completely screw up when it comes to charisma. 

They think it's about them. Their dazzling personality. Their witty jokes. Their "presence."

Wrong. Dead wrong.

Charisma is about them. The people you're talking to. The people you're trying to connect with. The people you're trying to move.

This is why understanding your audience is absolutely critical. 

Now when I say "audience," I don't just mean a huge crowd or a boardroom. It could be your child's classmates, teachers, teammates, or even family members. 

The key is knowing their interests, their worries, their aspirations. 

What excites them?

What keeps them up at night? 

What do they care about? 

When your child can speak to what matters to others, they unlock a sense of connection. That's when people start to lean in and want to hear more.

So, how do you get inside someone's head? How do you figure out what makes them tick?

I've created a simple tool to help your child master this. Have your child use this to take quick notes about people – a friend, a teacher, or even you. 

And then meticulously plan how they can use the notes in their next conversation to build a deeper connection.

The more they practice, the better they'll get at knowing what really matters to others.

Person's Name	Hopes, Dreams, Aspirations, Goals	Concerns, Worries, Challenges, Pain Points	Interests

Now let's make it real for you… 

Imagine your child is running for school president. He walks up to the assembly stage and gives a heartfelt speech about… getting more books in the library. Sounds nice, right?

But then the other kid stands up and says, "If I'm president, I'll reduce homework and make sports period twice as long."

Who do you think gets the loudest cheers? Obviously, the other kid. But why?

Because the second kid understood what his audience – his classmates – actually cared about.

Once your child learns to see the world from someone else's perspective, they become magnetic, that's when their words start to carry weight.

2. The Science – Using The Rhetorical Triangle

Knowing what your audience cares about is great – but the real magic happens when you know how to deliver your message in a way that makes them listen to you, trust you, and, most importantly, act.

And for that, you need a framework. A system. A set of proven principles.

Centuries ago, Aristotle (yes, the Greek philosopher) laid the foundation for how to persuade people, and it's still as relevant today as it was in ancient Greece. 

He called it the Rhetorical Triangle, and it's made up of three elements – ethos, logos, and pathos. Think of them as the "ingredients" of charisma.

Ethos – The Credibility Factor

Look, nobody's going to listen to a word you say if they don't trust you. It's that simple. 

Ethos is all about establishing your credibility. It's about showing people that you know what you're talking about and that you're worth listening to. It's your street cred. 

Think about it – Would you take financial advice from a broke guy living in his mom's basement? Probably not.

You'd want to hear from someone who has a track record of success.

The same principle applies to your child. If they want to be persuasive, they need to build their ethos. This could mean:

• • Doing their homework: Knowing their facts and figures cold. Being prepared.

• • Speaking with confidence: Projecting authority and conviction (without being arrogant).

• • Demonstrating expertise: Showing they have experience or knowledge in the subject matter.

Ethos isn't about bragging or showing off. It's about earning respect and trust. It's about positioning yourself as a reliable source of information.

Logos: The Power of Logic

Now, credibility alone isn't enough. You also need to make sense. 

Logos is all about using reason and evidence to support your claims. It's about structuring your arguments in a way that's easy to understand and hard to refute.

Because here's the thing – People tune out when things get confusing. We've all sat through those boring presentations that felt like a riddle with no answer.

But when your child can lay out their points clearly:

Problem → Solution → Why It Works → How It Works 

And back it up with data and statistics while using examples and anecdotes, then everything clicks!

Now imagine, if your child is pitching an idea for a class project, instead of saying, "Let's build a walking robot," they could structure it like this:

1. 1. Here's the challenge we need to solve.

1. 1. Here's why my idea works better than the rest.

1. 1. Here's how we'll do it step by step.

When you combine logos with ethos, you have a solid foundation for influence. People listen because your child sounds not only credible but convincing.

Pathos – The Emotional Connection

Now, this is the secret sauce.

People might forget what your child said, but they'll never forget how it made them feel.

Did it inspire them? Did it make them care? Did it tug at their heartstrings?

That's the power of pathos – the emotional connection.

Pathos is all about appealing to the emotions of your audience and making them feel something. It's about tapping into their hopes, fears, dreams, and values.

Think about the most memorable speeches in history – whether it's Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech or Steve Jobs launching the first iPhone.

They weren't just filled with facts and figures. They were filled with passion, emotion, and a deep understanding of the human condition.

So here are some ways how your child can use pathos in their conversations:

• • Telling stories: Sharing personal anecdotes or relatable examples that evoke emotion.

• • Using vivid language: Painting a picture with words that resonate with the audience.

• • Speaking with conviction: Conveying genuine enthusiasm and passion for their message.

When the three elements – ethos, logos, and pathos – come together, that's when true charisma is born. 

Conclusion

I have a million-dollar question for you:

What kind of future do you want for your child?

Do you want them to blend into the background, to be just another face in the crowd? 

Or do you want them to stand out and be the ones who lead movements, spark change, and create meaningful impact?

The world is changing faster than ever before. Technology is transforming every part of our lives. But one thing remains constant – the power of human connection. 

In a world of automation and artificial intelligence, the ability to connect with others on a deep, human level will be more valuable than ever.

So it's our responsibility to teach this to our kids. Don't assume they'll just "figure it out."

Because let me tell you something – It's not enough to be smart and talented. The world rewards those who can connect, persuade, and move others to action. And that's charisma! 

So, here's my challenge to you: Start today.

The next time your child shares a thought about someone, ask them:

• • Who is this for?

• • Why would they care about it?

• • How can you make them feel something?

These questions might seem small, but they're the seeds of greatness. 

Now go do your magic. 🙂